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I’ve taken the leap into self-hosting! I’ve moved all my archives over to http://mamaheartsbaby.com. You can find all new posts at my new home =)

Monday Momisms

Moms are full of wisdom; I’m a mom so I must have tons of wise and insightful things to share.  One day I hope to be able to share all my sage knowledge with my kids.  If I were more organized, I’d keep a beautifully bound journal and jot down in elegant fancy script all my deep teachings about life.  Then I would hand down to them from my death bed.  However, I plan to live forever and I’m not that organized.  Enter: Monday Momisms.

On Monday Momisms I share my bits of life advice for my kids.  I’d love to have you join me!  I’ll post every Monday in the morning and then you can link to your own Monday Momism post or leave a momism in the comments below.

Today’s Monday Momisms-

• Master your hair. Learn to blow dry it well and then figure out how to style it in 5 minutes flat.  This is a very important skill.
• Don’t be a girl about dating. If you like a guy, call him.  Don’t play games.  Call it how it is.
• Always be willing to educate yourself and accept you don’t know everything.
• When you drive, use your turn signals; they’re there for a reason

Latina Rewind

I’ve been blogging long enough to know that being your own cheerleader is key.  So imagine my “Doh!” moment when I realized I haven’t been linking my Latina posts to my main blog here.  So enjoy here a quick recap of my posts and links to them.  I promise to be a good from here on out and share them with you as they get posted!  Enjoy =)

• The Mami Diaries: A greeting
• What’s In A Name: Baby naming
• Mami In Hi-Def: I can’t hide my roots
• Multi-Culti Goodness: Raising a multicultural baby and the best pic of my daughter ever!
• I’ve Got Boobs: Some of my breastfeeding tips
• Minivan Land: I’m a sucker for minivans
• Drumroll Please: The big reveal
• Lean, Green Baby Machine: Yes I’m a vegetarian
• Work It Out:  Or not

Whew, that’s all of them!  I post twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I’ll keep you up to date as new posts go up.

I Want a Baby to Come Out of My Vagina: Dessa’s Birth Story

Welcome to my “I Want a Baby to Come Out of My Vagina” series.  I had a c-section with Dessa so I am focused on having a VBAC this second time around.  I’m prepared to accept that some things are out of my control and that despite my best efforts, my vagina might never see a baby exiting through.  My goal is always to have a healthy baby with a healthy mama.  But my vagina isn’t going down without a fight.  This series will chronicle my journey to attempting a successful VBAC.

I think the best place to start is with my pregnancy with Dessa and her birth story.  My pregnancy was a smooth ride; aside from the massive belly and boobs, some itching here and there and giant puffed hands and feet, I had no complaints.  I felt great.  I ate well and exercised until the end.  Well specifically I didn’t do anything but sleep my first trimester then worked out a lot in my second and just did lots of walking in my last trimester.

I read a ton of books on labor and delivery; I focused on trying to have a non-medicated birth.  I truly believed I could deliver naturally.  I educated myself on exactly what happens to your body in labor and, the nerd that I am, created my own binder with labor and delivery info.

I was due on Wednesday June 28; I worked until the Thursday immediately before with no signs of labor.  I didn’t have any Braxton Hicks and barely dilated or effaced before going into labor.  Never had any real bloody show either.

The Friday before my due date noticed the baby wasn’t moving as much.  I called my obgyn and she said to go into the hospital to get monitored.  They hooked me up to the machine and sure enough all was fine and unbeknownst to me I was having contractions!  I left the hospital and all was well.

Monday I bummed around and midday I started to get cramping I hadn’t experienced before.  It took me forever but I realized these were contractions.  Nothing to write home about because they were still fairly far apart.  My husband and I went about our day and even made a trip to Target.

Once the evening hit the contractions hadn’t yet increased in intensity but they were starting to have a pattern to them.  I didn’t feel uncomfortable and was able to go about my business.  Later into the night, I’d say between ten and eleven, I started to get uncomfortable and the contractions were much closer together.  I pulled out the medicine ball and started bouncing away.  Jeremy started to put into practice the massage techniques we’d used to manage the pain – tennis balls, lower back pressure, massaging pressure points, etc.

Around midnight we decided we needed to rest up because I was obviously in labor.  I called my doc and asked her when she thought I should go to the hospital.  The contractions were pretty close but still bearable.  She stayed on the phone with me and we chatted for abit.  She told me that because I could hold a conversation during the contractions, I was probably still ok to stay home.

We went to bed and Jeremy was able to sleep a bit.  I actually was able to close my eyes here and there but I spent a lot of time back and forth between the bed and medicine ball.  At some time in the middle of the night I had the urge to pee and got up from bed.  As I was making my way towards the bathroom, I felt this very sudden squeezing pop and my water broke.  This is where things started moving in super speed.

The car ride there is a blur but I remember having to fill out some paperwork and talk to way too many people.  The contractions were beyond strong at this point and I could no longer focus on managing the pain with all the hustle and bustle going on around me.  They examined me and I was already 4 centimeters dialated.  When the nurses asked if I wanted the epidural I gave in and said yes.

Once the epidural hit I was on cloud nine.  I hated getting it because it hurt like hell but afterwards you could have sawed off my leg and I wouldn’t have felt a thing.  The epidural slowed things down and they gave me pitocin to get things going again.  The pitocin caused me to dialate more but also caused the baby’s heartrate to drop on several occasions.

The first stage of labor went by smoothly.  I even think I slept in between contractions because I couldn’t feel anything.  When I finally got to 10 centimeters, it was time to push.  My obgyn was fantastic and did perineal massage the entire time I was pushing.  I pushed for a little over two hours.  We could all see her head but she just wasn’t progressing past the bone.

It’s not all crystal clear at this point but after some discussion about the health of the baby who’s heart beat kept dropping and then going back to normal, we decided on a c-section.  A giant team of folks came in and I was given more drugs.  I started freaking out a bit and just wanted to go back to the quiet phase of just me, my hubby, the  obgyn and the nurse.

The c-section went by super fast and our daughter arrived without complications.  Mom and baby were happy and healthy!

Reflecting back I think the reason things turned out the way they did is because I got the epidural.  Once I got it I had zero feeling and couldn’t even feel myself having contractions or really pushing.  I have no regrets and am just grateful we both made it alive and well.

Tune in next week when I’ll talk about the choices I’m making now to work towrads a successful VBAC.  If any readers have had a VBAC, I’d love to hear about your experience.  And if you have any resources to share I’d love to learn about them!

Welcome Monday Momisms!

A co-worker of mine  told me she has a notebook she keeps for her son.  In it she writes down tips and advice on just about everything – dating, laundry, love, finding a career, fixing a flat – everything.  She keeps it just in case something should ever happen to her and she’s not around to share her wisdom with him when he gets older.  Kind of like that great Michel Keaton tear jerker My Life (whatever happened to him anyway? I love him!).  I love the idea of the notebook.  I’ve had it mentally bookmarked for over a year now.  Notice how I say bookmarked and not that I’m actually filling out my own.

In an effort to start my own “momism” journal for my children, I’m going to start Monday Momisms where I’ll share my bits of life advice for my kids.  I’d love to have you join me!  I’ll post every Monday in the morning and then you can link to your own Monday Momism post or leave a momism in the comments below.  Let’s get started!

• Learn to type without looking; it makes everything so much easier!
• Say hi to everyone from the CEO to the person who cleans the toilets.
• Girls, please, always wipe front to back =)

What are your momisms?

Taking the Leap Into Freelancing

Photo courtesy of Stock.xchng

The last two months have really gotten me thinking about what direction I want to take my professional life.  Right now I work for a large insurance company in a cubicle; your typical corporate America nine to five.  I didn’t set out on any kind of path to get to where I’m at, things just kind of fell into place.  Actually, I probably did more to try and avoid the cube life than anything else.  I’ve never really known what it is I want to be when I grow up but I’ve always known the things that I love to do, writing being one of them.  So two months ago when Latina came knocking looking for a Latina mom blogger, I felt like some cosmic force was at work telling me to wake up and get going.

I’ve always loved to write but never sought out how to turn it into a career.  I had dreamed for a long time of writing a book but was always too scatterbrained to develop characters fully or a solid storyline; fiction was not my thing.  I stepped away from writing for a long time, not consciously but just because life was happening and I wasn’t paying attention.  When Dessa came around I had to get back to the things that I love and blogging let me connect back to my love for writing.  I’m incredibly lucky to have been given the opportunity to blog for Latina.  For someone with zero professional writing experience, this is the chance of a lifetime.  I’m feeling more and more each day that I have to seize the moment or it’ll pass me by.

I’ve been mulling over exactly what seizing this moment  means; I’m afraid I won’t know how to use this great opportunity to benefit me in the long run.  So in an effort to avoid missing out on this opp, I’ve put myself out there.  I’ve applied for several blogging positions and have gone from two little blogs to a whopping four (I start at BabySwags and Blissfully Domestic this month)!  I listed myself in a directory of moms looking to help one another out and I’m now writing a press release and have gotten great connections from the moms on there.  I was bold enough to even put myself out there as a social media consultant.  I lined up a busy month in February with 4 giveaways and 4 interviews (yikes!).  I’m not getting paid for any of this and I don’t mind; I just know there’s something in this jumble of assignments that I’m really hungry for.  And I’ve never been hungry for anything professionally.  It’s invigorating and exciting and kick ass!

I have so much brewing I can barely think straight sometimes.  I’m working on a posting schedule and trying to prioritize the things that matter.  I will keep writing at the various blogs and taking on freelance work as it comes and for as long as everything is working towards building a solid portfolio of work in my area of expertise.  But I also want to make sure I have enough time to start developing both an ebook and a full length book.   I’m considering attending a blogging/social media conference.  I want to continue to educate myself on this new field I’m venturing into.  As you can see, my mind has a lot to think about these days.

I’m reading a ton of different blogs right now and am considering signing up for a marketing course.  I also just downloaded a great eWorkbook which might help me get to one of those conferences I’m dreaming about.  I’ll follow up this post later week when I sort through all the info.  I’m hoping to find some really great info that might help out other freelance newbies.  Heck not to mention put it all in one handy place for myself!

If any of my readers just up and took a leap with freelancing, I’d love to know how you did it and where you’re at now.  Where did you find the best work?  How long were you willing to work for free?  How did you define being successful?  Any input would be great!

My Little Lady

She melts me, chocolate on her lips and all

I’m in denial sometimes that Dessa is no longer a little baby.  I still call her the baby and want to cradle her in my arms.  I forget she can do more than I know.  Then today I was getting ready to leave the house and she was just patiently waiting, watching me.  I looked over and she was so damn tall!  Just like this little lady person, it blows me away.

It makes me sad but excited.  The sadness only lasts about a millisecond then I’m excited at the world we’ll get to explore together.  I get excited about how much I have yet to learn about her.  I get excited about all the ways she’ll grow that will amaze me.  She’s already grown so much and amazed me with her development.  I mean every parent knows their kid grows up and learns to walk and talk and communicate but until you experience it, you don’t really know.

She’s at this great point right now where we totally get one another.  If she wants something she’ll point or take me to it.  She wants more, she’ll ask for it.  Water, demands it.  She doesn’t like something, there’s no guessing; she let’s me know.  If I need something in the other room, I can ask her to get it for me and she’ll know exactly what I’m asking for.  I also love the person she is with others.  She is cautious but social and happy and gentle.  She listens to conversations and loves to give her two cents.  She loves to laugh, a good gut belly laugh.  She loves to dance and demands music to be on all the time.  She tends to our cat (more than J or I sometimes) and is concerned all the time with her needs (if it were up to her she’d feed the cat ever hour).

I get excited, too, about the fact that we’ll have another little infant in the house.  I have my concerns about how they’ll get along but they’re distant and not something I worry about.  I’m just glad to know there will be another itty bitty newborn to hold.  I can’t even wrap my mind around how much my heart will ache when I see my two little girls together.  Shit, it’s aching a little bit right now.

Dessa is 18 months already.  I don’t know where the time went but I know it was well spent.  I’ll take a lesson from these 18 months, savor it all.  Everyone says time flies and sure you get it when you have a baby but still it is incredible how true those words are.  Today’s a sappy day for me, a day where I’m willing to look and really see who my daughter is and who she’s becoming.  Sigh, deep, deep sigh and achey heart, a warm, happy achey hearty today.

Goodnight 2008

The new year is 3.5 short hours away.  I’m cuddled on my couch flipping through channels while Dessa is in dreamland.  The snow storm is killer outside with some really loud, gusty winds.  J is at work, texting cute little messages throughout the night.  This is new year’s eve for me these days.  I’m pretty sure last year was pretty similar.  I was driving home from work today and thought how much my life has changed.  A few years ago, I would have been mad at the snow for trying to ruin whatever intoxicating party lay ahead, contemplating how I’m going to trudge through the snow in high heels.  Now, at the sign of a single snowflake I’m jumping for joy!  How life changes.  No complaints, though, I’m grateful for the ways my life has changed.

I want to bid farewell to 2008 with some of things I am most grateful for this year.  I’ll think about resolutions and new beginnings tomorrow.

• I am grateful for Dessa who every day grows kinder and sweeter.  She brought hope and joy to everyday this year.
• I am grateful for my husband.  This year especially I got to witness him being such a wonderful father that I melted a little bit everytime I saw them together.
• I am grateful for the opportunities that have come my way.  I changed my attitude and started giving out to the world the energy that I hoped to receive and things are working out just fine.
• I am grateful for our country for making the decision to elect a president that will change the course of history.  I am grateful to this country for giving my children the opportunity to grow up knowing President Barack Obama.
• I am grateful for family and friends who have supported us in countless ways through some of the tough times this year.
• I am grateful to have been able to get pregnant this year after my miscarrige.
• I am grateful for new and unexpected friends who remind me that the world gives you what you need when you need it, you just have to open your eyes.  I’m also still in awe of the power of social media to bring together so many moms & other liked minded people who genuinely want to support one another.
• I am grateful for my cat who never stops loving us even though Dessa has stolen a lot of the affection we once showed her.
• I am sooooooooo grateful to live in the Ocean State.  Those are words I thought I’d never utter but this summer showed me the magic of this little state and it’s beautiful beaches.

It was a good year =)

Blogger Or Microblogger – Which One Am I?

I’ve fallen hard for Twitter.  I’m on it constantly and can’t wait to get my new phone so I can tweet all the time from anywhere.  I don’t consider myself a microblogger, at least I didn’t set out to be.  I’m a mommy blogger(aren’t I?).  So shouldn’t I spend more time visiting other mom blogs & updating my own little piece of the web instead of tweeting?

I follow almost all of my daily blog reads on Twitter so I often forget to check out what they’re posting.  I even find new and interesting people to follow who’s blogs I barely visit.  I’ll visit once to learn more about them and see if they’re someone worth following but then I forget to go back.  I feel like I’m following them throughout their day so I neglect to give them any blog love. 

I can’t figure out which is more valuable to someone I’m following – Twitter love or blog love?  Sheesh, I’m not even sure which is more important to me!  Can I be both a microblogger and a blogger?  I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve posted more tweets than posts and I’m starting to wonder how to find the balance between the two.

With the new year quickly approaching, I need to figure out a way to better manage my time and prioritize my goals.  Interesting because I don’t think Twitter ever started out as a goal of any sort.  It was meant to be just a fun way to connect and build community.   

I’m so confused!  Maybe you can share some wisdom to help me plan for 2009- 

• Which is more valuable – twitter love or blog love? 
• Can you be a successful blogger and microblogger? 
• How do you balance both?

The Big Photo Shoot

On the road to the shoot

Just before Christmas, I got the proofs from my photo shoot at Latina.  Now I’m not going to lie, I was extremely excited.  I knew it wasn’t going to be like all glamorous and stuff, make up people or wardrobe people or being primped and beautified or anything like that.  That was fine with me, I just felt pretty cool going to anything called a photo shoot.  Dessa looked gorgeous as always, no smiles for a single shot but angelic and perfect.

Mama, on the other hand, a hot mess.  I did my make-up but since I’m no expert my skin looks awful.  Even though it’s a mami blog about being a parent and being pregnant, I feel like I look more beer gutted than pregnant.  I spent some time straightening my hair and as forgetful as always I didn’t take out my hair clip.  Can you tell I love them?  Right.

I have to go through all 39 of them and pick one or two top favorites.  All I can think is why did they have to decide to do this when I’m pregnant?  On the up side, it’s nice to have some pictures of Dessa and I.  We have a billion and one of J and her but maybe a whopping 5 of her and I since the day she was born.  I’m a camera freak and J, well, I’m still training him =)